REQUEST FOR STORIES
Aspen Exposure is looking for funny “dating stories form hell”. They should be 150-300 words. No real names should be used. Please include contact information or we will not be able to publish your story.
EXTRA CHEESE
January 18, 2008
My name is Gail. I am a lawyer, fairly attractive, in my mid 30’s, and live in Southern California. My best friend, Julie met this guy at a party, and decided we were meant for each other. She gives him my number, and he calls. On first impression, he seemed nice, and we talked for over an hour. His name was John, and he worked in the travel business. He was divorced a year, and had a son, John Jr. It all sounded good. I was not completely thrilled he already has a son, but because I do want children, I rationalized he was already broken in.
He invited me to dinner, skipping the whole, “Let’s have coffee, and get to know each other a little.” We decided on Italian, and to meet at the restaurant. I’ll call it Mario’s for the sake of the story. At eight o’clock, I arrive at Mario’s, scanned the room, and saw a man, who then spotted me, and stood up. The reason I did not recognize him immediately was that he was not alone - he had a little boy with him. Not quite what I expected, but still not a deal breaker.
He introduced John Jr. to me, but he was focused on his new harmonica, blowing into it with great gusto, not really playing a song, but definitely making noise. The conversation was less then stellar. Soon afterwards, John ordered two pizzas. I just assumed he was hungry. But, I was wrong.
Without warning, two other children, Sara, age 17, and another John Jr., age 15 arrived at our table and sat down. I found out they were Johns’, from his first marriage. I tried to have a conversation with them, but I could not get a word in as they bombarded each other with verbal abuse. I lost count of the profanities that came out of their mouths within minutes. Finally, John put a halt to the noise, by threatening to put them on “SILENCE”, for the rest of the evening. I was not sure what “SILENCE” was, but I was in favor of it.
After that, his two older children basically ate their dinner, and grunted on occasion. The youngest John Jr. continued in his efforts to play his harmonica. Dinner finally ended, and I was off before the left over pizza was in the takeout box.
Why John omitted telling me about his other two children was obvious. Why he had two sons named John Jr. was not – but I really didn’t care.
Gail
Redondo Beach, California
