Horror-Scopes
February 1, 2008
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
To many of your thoughts, finish way long, after they end.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
The impediment in your speech - taking a breath every once in a while - can be cured.
Gemini (May 21 - June 2l)
And you wonder, why some animals eat their young?
Cancer (June 22 - July 22)
As you go about trying to figure out why you feel alone at this moment, keep in mind your best relationships are based on mutual misunderstandings.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
The problem you face in the years ahead is that your future is much like your present - Only much… much… longer.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
Resort to tradition, if you don’t have the time to do it right.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)
The true test of being boring is, if someone asks you how you are, and it takes an hour to answer.
Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21)
You dog will never hear the clock strike, will die without any idea of death, will be buried at little cost, and no one will bring a lawsuit over their will. If only you were a dog - what a life it would be?
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 2l)
Your motto this week should be: Start slow, and taper off.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
You can rest easy for the next six months. Nothing is more conducive to having peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Some people are like popular songs that you only sing for a short period.
Pisces (Feb. l9 - March 20)
Don’t forget to tell everyone it’s a secret.
